I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
