I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
