Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
