Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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