my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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