I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Someone signed my nipple.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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