Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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