I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
