would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
