Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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