I molested 6 butterflies tonight
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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