that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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