just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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