If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
