i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
We're too hungover to prance.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
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