Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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