That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
