physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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