did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
