Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
worst night to have a conscience
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
is it fun? or sober?
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