Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
