Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
