No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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