i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
