my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
The adults are the big ones right?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
