I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
