Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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