I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
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