I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
high people should be assigned attendants
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
