so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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