i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
our cab driver is having phone sex.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
