Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
