just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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