bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
