she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
