I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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