could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I just blew my weed a kiss
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
