god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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