it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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