That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
