So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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