I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Found the puke drawer
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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