you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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