It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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