she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
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