The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
