Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
