Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
