why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Randomize
