Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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