i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
