We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
